Sentence craft

The paragraphs were not indented because it was taken from the blog. It becomes unformatted in doing so.

1) wrong word-benefactors turns into factors

Wrong: These forms of slavery exist because of three major benefactors,

Right: These forms of slavery exist because of three major factors,

2) sentence level error- redundant

Wrong: all the while

Right: cut out 

3) sentence level error- all need to end in ing

Wrong: sharing, offers, presents

Right: sharing, offering, presenting

4) sentence level error-  not sure 

Wrong:gaining a more intimate knowledge of slavery in the 21st century, which he expresses in his speach. All the while backing it up with data from seasoned professionals.

Right:

5) grammar- no noun?

Wrong: Gives an example of when it hasn't, and moves on.

Right: she gives an example of when it hasn't , and moves on.

6) punctuation

Wrong: audiences 

Right: audience's

7) spelling

Wrong: promising

Right: promising

I usually take a whole day to proofread, when I can. Sometimes it can take hours, because I go over the same paragraph repeatedly.  I find proof reading to be a very crucial step in writing an essay. It is where you fix all errors and fing the best way to order and phrase your essay.